One Year Older, 10 Years Smarter...I Hope

It's hard pinpoint the exact age when you realize you've finally learned your lesson. In fact, learning from our mistakes may be a never ending process. However, I'm really hoping this year marks a turning point in my life. Given all I've been through in my professional and personal life, I'm trusting myself to spot those pink flags before they become red. No longer in my early twenties or recently out of college, can say, "I didn't know it was going to turn out this way." No more excuses! I've fallen too many times not to know where the traps are.

One year older, 10 years smarter is what I resolved to be when I turned 27, earlier this year. I've ridden my life of a job and relationship that was depleting my emotional and mental energy. I started the new year ready to execute big plans for 2008. Now, without getting into too much detail, I'm caught in a situation where I'm being put to the test of proving whether I'm in fact 1 year old and 10 years smarter. My friendship with someone, over the past couple of weeks, has become become a bit too friendly. I keep telling myself, "It's all good. I know what's going on."

But then my 37 year old self comes shaking her head, giving me that disapproving look and asking, "Really? Is this what you really want? Hello! Red flags!"

I responded, "This is nowhere near a red flag, not even a pink, but more like a fuchsia flag. This is what I want right NOW.

She tells me, "I'm sure you're having fun and if it's all good, do it. But what's gonna happen when you realize this isn't what you want? Will the universe have to intervene with some catastrophe?"

Argh! I hate it when she's right! I'm creature of habit and a selfish one at that. I want consistency on my timeline. This is what I want right now. Is there anything wrong with that?

I'm not just being tested on the personal front. It took me a long time to realize that I have no interest in pursing a career that chases the dollar. I honestly believe that happiness brings prosperity. I'm not trying to be rich. I just want to be comfortable.

However, my overly friendly friend's ambitious desire to take over the world and make a lot of money has made me question my own goals. I remember being recently out of college and having big goals of making a lot money through various business investments. There was actually a point in my life when I thought about starting my own business. And you know what, it could have happened, if I truly had a passion for it.

All this made me question what the hell I was doing with my life. Why was I not making 6 figures? Truth is, if I would have stayed at my previous job, I could have made 6 figures within 4 or 5 years in or out of that company. But I wasn't happy! I was content. What if I dedicated 2-3 years of my life to working my butt off to start my own business or getting into a field that would generate a whole lot of money? Would that give me a jump start to being happy?

This is where my 37 older self starts trying to give me advice. She tells me, "Oh, come on now. You know damn well you have no interest in opening up a new business venture. In fact, you hate interacting with some of these wanna be cut throat business folks who barely know you're alive unless you're willing to put down a mil for their investment."

It's all true. Many of these wanna be business moguls have this awful energy around them that repels normal people from wanting to spend more than 5 minutes with them. But right now I'm beginning to wonder, "Maybe I can do this for a year or two before I start school. Making some extra money wouldn't hurt."

After analyzing my situation, I began to realize I was on the path that was making me more money but it wasn't making me happy. Instead, I've decided that trusting my heart and going back to school to follow one of my passions would bring me prosperity, but more importantly happiness.

But it's all just a test, right? This doesn't really count as not being 10 years smarter, right?